3 ways to tell a mentor that your life was impacted
Reaffirming your mentor that their advice has changed your life is the most important action step in creating a long-term relationship. I reflect on countless situations in my life thinking “if it was not for this advice, I would have not achieved this.” As a matter of fact, I contribute my biggest career achievements thus far to the guidance of mentors! Mentors support in situations such as important top Management meetings, deciding on next career steps and salary negotiations by giving exact action steps based on their experience. Their guidance should make you feel empowered, safe in your decision-making process and give you confidence to pull through. Remember:
mentors are cheat codes who help us to achieve our goals faster!
Make sure to provide the mentor with feedback after every exchange and to reaffirm that the advice has positively impacted your development. Leave 2 to 3 days after your exchange to provide feedback via E-Mail. There are 3 ways of communicating impact in an E-Mail:
- Gratitude-focus
- Result-driven
- Value-proposition assuring
These 3 ways of communicating impact can center around one of the core principles of: gratitude, value or result. Ideally you want to connect all in one E-Mail. At times you may not be able to because it takes longer to see results. Then you are selecting one of the 3 ways of communicating to know what to write in a feedback E-Mail.
the key communication formula is:
state the advice received + action steps implemented + the way you feel due to the advice
1. a little gratitude goes a long way
Gratitude-driven communication is an emotional way of saying thank you for taking your time and working with me. It is a form of appreciating that someone took the time out of their busy schedule and helped you. Examples of communication and drafts to use:
“I am grateful for the advice of xxx (state the exact advice received), because I know that it will help me with xxx (insert the impact it will create on your behavior – the outcome has not happened yet).”
“ I am grateful that you took the time out of your busy schedule to help me with xxx (state the topic discussed), your advice has given me a blueprint on xxx (quote the action steps) and now I feel xxx (mention the feeling that you feel now: empowered, confident, certain, etc).
2. show your results
Result-driven communication is a fact-based approach of assuring the mentor that the advice received has led to success. This form of communication is very appropriate for strong business profiles with whom you could not create an emotional connection yet. Example of communication and draft to use:
“I wanted to thank you for xxxx (state advice), which has helped me to secure a new job offer with a salary increase of xxx % (confirm the numerical outcome that the advice has lead to!). This was achieved due to xxx (list the action steps received and then implemented that lead to this outcome).
When communicating result-driven you want to ensure to use the SMART method and to provide strong numerical result indicators. Afterwards, you can add one sentence to outline what you have changed in your behavior to achieve this result.
3. confirm the value received
Value-proposition communication is mostly a merger of gratitude and result-driven communication bundled with long-lasting impact on your life. It is a way of saying thank you for a mentoring over time (i.e. many months). You will strongly emphasize the value of advice received over time that has then led to for instance a new job, a salary increase or any other fundamental change. Example of communication and draft to use:
“I am very grateful for the advice that you have shared with me over the past xxx months (mention time frame). Working with you on gaining this new promotion to Product Manager (state outcome) has allowed me to land an exciting new role with a salary increase of xx% (list numerical result). You have helped me to develop more self-confidence (outline the way the you feel after the advice received) by giving me tips such as answering with the SMART method in the interview or by encouraging me to see the interview as a dialogue (mention what you have done based on the advice), thus making me feel secure to ask multiple questions.”
Ideally you will want to stick to the value proposition method 90% of the time when giving feedback to your mentor.
With all 3 ways of communicating remember to:
keep it short, sharp, and simple!
This means that you are sending an E-Mail with no more than 100-150 words using one of the 3 ways of communication. Also, remember to inquire for a possible catch up 3 to 6 months down the road depending on your situation. If you need advice earlier, because you are facing a deadline, loop the mentor in and ask for availability that suits the mentor. Remember to stick to 30 min digital meeting slots (Microsoft Teams, FaceTime, etc). The mentor may offer you 60 min if necessary or feasible based on availability.
Reaffirming that the guidance received resulted in a successful outcome is important to create a long-term relationship with your mentor!
I mentor many young profiles and at times, this step is overlooked. Think of it as an after-service feedback that leaves both parties with happy emotions. Thus, looking forward to working together again in the future. In next week’s Monday Minutes I am sharing with you how to create a long-term relationship with your mentor to achieve massive results.
Monday Minutes are my personal & independent reflections for inspirational purposes only. They are not professional career advice, they simply outline my experience & advice that has been shared with me and helped me personally.