your meeting day “how to guide”
Ready, set, go! The day has finally come: You are about to have a 30 min meeting with your desired mentor. How to maximize the limited time when exchanging with a highly successful professional though?
One strategy that has been shared with me by one of my mentors and that I have executed every time I meet someone who has the success that I aim to have is to:
listen, learn, duplicate & then execute with a sprinkle of YOU on top!
Let me break this 4-step strategy down:
1. listen
Truly and consciously listening to someone is the most powerful way of creating an emotional connection with someone. Most of the time when engaging in a conversation with a successful professional our mind tends to drift. Have you ever caught yourself thinking of the next smart question that you prepared for any meeting? Waiting for the moment to drop it and to impress the other person? Mainly, because you thought about this brilliant question and in what light it would put you, because it is sharp, powerful and intelligent? If that is you, I get it. It used to be my old self and I thought I was invincible with my smart questions, but what I have encountered over the course of time is that these questions were most of the time not really related to the context of the conversation. Thus, introducing a new topic and not creating a seamless conversation flow. Following this approach often prevents from creating a true and emotional connection with the other person, as well as not showing your true and authentic self – rather your well-prepared self.
When it comes to listening, your goal is to create a DIALOG. Aim to shift away from an “interview” or “question-answer” exchange. Instead creating a conversation that allows a 60% - 40% speaking ratio, whereby you talk only 40% of the time!
here is how to achieve the 60% - 40% ratio:
- Listen to every statement made by the professional.
- Always only ask a question that is directly linked to the previous statement.
- Ask 2 follow-up questions regarding the statement.
- Add examples of your experience (professional or personal) regarding the statement.
- Do not randomly include any of the prepared questions if they do not fit in the context of the current conversation.
Key when following the 60%-40% ratio is to first inquire about the professional’s take on the statement, then to expand the professional’s share of voice by asking more questions to elaborate on the statement and lastly adding your personal or professional experience.
Following this approach is the winning formula to create a dialog with the professional, but most importantly it allows you to connect on an emotional level.
2. learn
The whole aim of the exchange with a desired mentor should be to receive a blueprint on how to achieve your goal. The goal is not to receive a job or being recommended to the company where the mentor works! The goal is to understand which steps are required to achieve your goal and then to learn the skills needed. In the end it is still you, who must make your goal happen. The role of the mentor is just to enable you to get it done faster and easier. Thus, it is pivotal to be open to any advice given.
3. duplicate
Once you have received the blueprint and learning of the mentor it is up to you to duplicate these steps. Duplication is key when it comes to the goal achieving process. You have to drop your ego and stop thinking that you know better or want to do it your way. Why would you? If you are in exchange with someone who already has a track record of success and provides you with insights on what it took to get there, then the only approach to follow is how to transfer their success steps and learning on your individual path!
4. execute
…with a sprinkle of YOU on top!
You will want to make sure that you remain your authentic self. Hence when receiving precise action steps to follow, it is still important to execute them in your way. This means for instance using your tone of voice, your preferred method of communication or adding your individual twist that makes you stand out. The point of duplicating is not to do exactly what someone tells you to do. It is to understand the strategy, steps and learning and to apply those to your path. Think of it as a duplication framework. The execution of these points should always reflect your true self.
girlboss anecdote:
I am a very positive and kind person, when starting my career, I was not sure if these traits would interfere with my girlboss demeanor. I had the blueprint from my mentors and decided to adjust my behavior “to fit in”. Thus, not fully showing up as my authentic self. What happened was that I was truly unhappy and could not perform at my best. It was then that I realized what I tried to adjust was my actual strength, which differentiates me from others. I encourage you to show up as the real you with all the facets that make you, YOU! It is a trial and error situation, test what works and what does not work for you in terms of your communication and behavior.
Now that you know what steps to follow when meeting with a mentor, it is time to put the work in and to execute the advice given. When given any advice it is important to focus on 3 steps to implement first, otherwise you might feel overwhelmed. Whilst working on these 3 steps keep your mentor in the loop. Next week’s Monday Minutes will outline how you can involve the mentor in your progress in a subtle manner and how you can reaffirm that the value received helps you to grow.
Monday Minutes are my personal & independent reflections for inspirational purposes only. They are not professional career advice, they simply outline my experience & advice that has been shared with me and helped me personally.